(Little disclaimer to all the gays out there, this doesn’t apply to everyone! This is just what I personally have experienced! )
Let me explain,
Mine and every other gay man’s pool of potential partners is A LOT smaller than those of straight people! A lot of straight people are single too, there’s just A LOT more options for straight people to get with other straight people. So talking numbers, the chances of meeting ‘Mr. Right’ are pretty slim.
What I’ve noticed is a lot of gay men are attracted to attractiveness rather than personality and deeper values. We hate to admit it but it’s true. I also noticed it’s common that gay men are not monogamous. There are a lot of gay men who claim to want monogamy, but they can’t even behave monogamously themselves. Bottom line is, if you want monogamy, you have to be monogamous and if you really love someone, being faithful is effortless.
Too many gay men often seek guys who fit their idea of a perfect partner: perfect job, perfect look, perfect friends. STOP RIGHT THERE! You want a guy who loves you for your individual nature, and who might even clash with some aspects of your life, its natural.
Most gay men are alone because they have narrow standards and try to chase after ideas of a perfect man modelled in today’s popular culture. Let’s be honest, the majority of gay men depicted in television shows or on TV in general are pretty good looking and it’s become the standard that every gay man seeks. Personality is then completely overlooked.
Personally, the experience of growing up gay in a straight world is hard. I often experienced rejection in many ways by the time I became an adult. Whether it was being excluded at school or being rejected by someone I had a crush on. I have developed defences against my fear of rejection, and those are what keeping me from opening up to other’s.