Is Instagram Ruining Our Lives?

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Haven’t posted for a while, and I was scraping my brain trying to figure out something I can write about. I don’t know if it is because I am busy, life is changing, or if I’m simply feeling uninspired. After thinking and debating, there is something I want to address: Instagram … it’s VERY deceiving. For some reason I just can’t seem to get that through my head. Don’t get me wrong I LOVE Instagram, but it’s nothing but A LOT of smoke and mirrors and nothing is what it seems.

As young adults we are all on a continuous journey to find and love ourselves. Which is never going to happen if we keep trying to be a filtered standard of ourselves that isn’t even real! Sounds like some super messed up and unachievable shit. What does that say about what we think of ourselves and our goals in the first place? How can we achieve them when we don’t feel good enough to be ourselves, let alone to even want to be ourselves.

Here’s the harsh truth are you ready to hear it?

1.) Let’s be honest most of us are looking for validation.

2.) #BodyGoals – We see that hashtag almost every day on our Instagram timeline. Most likely, there will be a skinny pretty girl or boy in the picture with a flat stomach/abs. We’ve all seen it, and we’ve all wanted to be them at some point in our lives (Do not deny it, you know it’s true). So, are they really our body goals or is it just a silly fantasy that is bringing down our self-confidence? I don’t know about you, but social media has quickly destroyed my self-confidence.

3.) There’s this pressure to be “camera ready” at any given time of day.

4.) Instagram is the first thing I look at in the morning and the last thing I look at when I go to bed – this is borderline an addiction.

What have I learnt from Instagram? Most girls want to be skinny, and guys want to look ripped, and if you don’t look like that, then you’re considered unattractive … harsh reality right? But let me break it down for you once more!

1.) NO ONE wakes up with perfect hair and skin. NO ONE eats on a terrace with a beautiful mountain view every morning. NO ONE has a perfect relationship full of gifts, hand holding, and adventures.

2.) Everyone wakes up with a zit the size of a mountain on their forehead every once in a while (guilty). Everyone spends a day in bed eating junk food and binge watching Netflix (guilty). Everyone argues with their significant other (not guilty #singleAF). Everyone has bad days, they just don’t post it on social media!!!

Quite frankly, Instagram is transforming us literally into our own worst critics. Believe it or not if you want. Rant over!

 

A Letter To My 12 Year Old Self

Hey 12 year old Sam,

I think about you often. Not only about your ideals, your naïve outlook on life, but also how you would see me. How proud you would be of me if we ever met. 

I remember back in grade 6 you had no comprehension of the big move you were about to embark on with your family. You had to leave all your friends behind and neglect everything you thought you knew about life, because life in America is VERY different. However, you were lucky to not be in that situation alone, having your twin sister by your side every step of the way. All throughout high school you struggled with fitting in and finding the right group of friends. Don’t worry, as you progressed through your formal education, you placed less importance on trying to fit in and impress people. 

I understand your hopes and aspirations. You believe in creativity, being good to people and trying your best. You think thinking positively can get you through almost anything, as long as you understand your limits. You want to be a Vet and you’ve been convinced your whole life you wanted to be one. I hate to break it to you but thats not the path you are going to take. I cringe at the sight of blood and dead animals. The introverted little Sam that loved animals is still there, but your confidence and love for people grew TREMENDOUSLY and has shifted your career focus to business and the service industry (weird right?).

Your struggle with weight and body image was so hard, and unfortunately you will still face that struggle 8 years down the track. You were bullied for being fat and queer at 12 and now it continues at 21 for being too skinny. It will be tough. Your life is still controlled by insecurities and fear, but your beliefs have evolved. You want to be good to people, but are afraid sometimes you haven’t been. You’re afraid to think positively because you know that somewhere, somehow, something will shut your positivity down. You quite often want the same things as others, but need to remember that comparing your life to others will always make you come up short in the end!

I can proudly say, you will SLOWLY start to care less about you insecurities. While both of us have feared rejection for the majority of our life, I’m starting to embrace it. I’m starting to realise that I will never achieve anything without being rejected. You will have your doubts when you experience the amount of the rejection you are going to face, but I assure you it will all make sense in the end.

At 21, your life has changed A LOT. You have a degree, you’ve worked at Disney World, you have a full time job with one of the largest hotel brands in the world and you have AMAZING friends. You’ve surrounded yourself with people who lift you up. Mum, Dad and Rebecca are all thriving in their careers as well and with their support, you’re finally going after the things you want! I’m happy because I’m trying. I’m learning not to turn down opportunities because I fear I’m not right for the job, or that I will fail. 

Remember that it’s okay to be different and to stand up for what you believe in. It’s okay to take things at your own pace. You have a wonderful, long, and eye-opening road in front of you. 

And as for me? I have plenty of time to make both of us proud.

Good Luck,

Your 21 year old self

P.S. Brace yourself for how sassy you will become, it will be one of your defining qualities 😉 

Staying Motivated When Things Aren’t Going Your Way

Trying to stay motivated when things aren’t going quite the way you planned is quite difficult! Let me re-phrase that, it’s super fucking hard. Problems and heartaches in life are inevitable, It’s natural to get overwhelmed by our struggles and when things aren’t going our way, most of us, me included, have a tendency to complain. In my experience complaining rarely does much to improve the situation and can often make matters worse. You know what it’s like, it’s so tiresome to provide support to someone who shares their problems with you constantly. So I try not to be that person …  A way to combat this feeling is to find the strength to stay positive. I always try to laugh even when it’s hard to. I spend time with other people as much as I can and refrain myself from isolation. I like to give myself space and time to re-energize (I can’t stress how important this is for me).

A way I’ve been trying to combat all this feeling of hopelessness is looking back on my life and some of the things I’ve done and achieved so far and dwell on the good things in my life at this moment and list a good 5 things out. Sounds silly, but I read it actually makes you so much more grateful for the life you have had so far.

  1. I have a wonderful family, I believe I had the best upbringing. My parents are so loving and supportive of me and everything I’ve ever done. Im very close with all my relatives and they give me constant love and support.
  2. I had the opportunity to work for one of the largest most successful companies in the world for 6 months overseas. It resulted in many life lessons, personal growth and life long friendships
  3. I have had the opportunity to travel and see lots of amazing places
  4. I got to live in the Texas for 6 years with my family and attend school there
  5. I have wonderful friends, close or distant, I love them all

Every struggle we encounter is a step forward; it’s all part of life’s journey, giving us the opportunity to learn about ourselves. The way in which we are able to handle what life throws at us, defines our future and who we will become.

 

Update: August 2017

I just wanted to write a blog post to formally apologise for the lack of content lately. Sometimes life gets in the way of these sort of things and while I love it very much, sometimes it has to go on the back burner for a short time while I get my affairs in order. But I did want to write just to let you all know what I’ve been up to!

So since my last blog post, I have officially completed all my units within my bachelor degree and I will be graduating in November! University has been a four-year journey for me and I honestly couldn’t be prouder of myself. I really put myself out there in terms of making new friends and really challenging myself. University really helped me step outside of my comfort zone and master time management and organisational skills! At the end of the day, my degree is something that I now have and nobody can take that away from me! It’s all mine!

The biggest challenge I am currently facing after acquiring said degree, is finding a job. Don’t get me wrong I have a job and I love it dearly, however I am looking to progress in my chosen industry and that can only be achieved by continuing to push for a more professional role. A role that my degree has prepared me for. While there seems to be a lot of rejection in this initial stage of applying, I’m trying to just reassure myself there’s something out there and it’s all good experience. I am applying to jobs left right and centre and trying my best, so fingers crossed for that! 

I am making some very important lifestyle changes such as going to the gym more and changing the kind of food I eat. I’ve been experimenting with ‘vegetarianism’ for health reasons. I am currently very immersed in Game of Thrones (who isn’t), seriously one of the best season so far! Also being so busy with work, I’m trying to spend as much time with my family as I can. All of us work, so it’s very rare for all of us to have time together in the same room! I’m also trying to be as spontaneous as possible, indulging in shopping, weekend weekends away and trying nice restaurants! 

I think what I am beginning to learn as of late is, life is precious and life is short. We need to start living every day like it’s the last and to the fullest. Tell you friends and family you love them, eat that burger, post that selfie, DO ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING because tomorrow isn’t promised/guaranteed.

 

An Effort To Be Happier!

The key to being happier starts by being good to yourself. Sounds pretty self-evident right? But too often we skip this very crucial step. I myself skip it many a time! I often try to make myself happy by chasing ever-higher goals or holding myself to ever-greater standards of perfection (as seen on Instagram lol).

I go about my life day to day and I noticed that there was once crucial thing missing … and it was indeed happiness. I have been so caught up in my working schedule and other petty things like housework and catching up on Netflix TV shows that I totally forgot to be happy. I was in zombie mode that’s for sure, I was sad, and just content really … I needed a push to get me back on track to happiness.

I’ve read that the happiest people go out of their way to treat themselves right and they do something nice for themselves each day. They set appropriate boundaries and take care of themselves by saying no to things when they need to. This is something I have been trying to do lately and it has really turned things around for me. I indulge in a nice bath and glass of wine once a week now as nice way to unwind after a stressful shift at work. On my days off, I try to something fun and spontaneous as a way to forget about whatever may be stressing me out at the current moment in time. I buy myself nice things as a reward for my hard work. I continue to design and study marketing to help get me closer to my dream of having a clothing line. Keeping this commitment will motivate me to take better care of myself and go after my dreams. It’s worth a shot anyway right?

I challenge everyone this coming month to do something for yourself each day big or small to remind you on a daily basis to treat yourself with the loving kindness you deserve! Don’t get too caught up in the day to day routine! Take time to stop and breathe, prioritise your health and listen to yourself. Be spontaneous! Go to the beach. Go have a nice coffee. Have some retail therapy. Get creative!

 

Why I Want To Build A Unique Brand Around Myself As An Individual

Personal branding requires me to find a signature image, a unique voice, and a recognisable standard that my readers can grow to recognise. How am I going to do that? Simple. By being MYSELF.

Imagine how hard it would be to build a brand around your “fake” self. Which I believe is what most people do. I would have to act a certain way, appear a certain way, and say certain things, regardless of how I actually feel about it.

Samuel Rose and “samuelrose.blog” is a reflection of who I am. I know what I believe in. I know what I stand for! I know my strengths and my weaknesses. People connect with other people. If I don’t appear to be a real person, or if it just looks like i’m faking it, how likely is it that others will trust me and what I have to say? Even if they do buy into my ‘fake’ persona for one hot minute, the slightest bit of inconsistency could prove catastrophic for my brand.

As I begin to develop my personal brand, I can only hope the right opportunities will start coming my way. While people may ‘doubt’ me or find my online/social media presence ‘annoying’, people will begin to see that I know what i’m taking about, and they’ll invite me to be a part of their stories or news pieces. However, I must not forget how important it is for me to accomplish something for MYSELF. I’m not doing it just for the following, but for myself. I will continue to talk about fashion and the role it plays in my life. I will continue to talk about my passion for travel. I will continue to be open about my shortcomings and weaknesses, making me all the more human.

Building a personal brand is first and foremost developing an understanding of your true self, and then sharing that with the world. For me that is an endless journey.

Being Happily Single Makes You A Stronger Person

“The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it’s not. It is an existential truth: only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of another person–without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other. They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other.”  – Osho

This quote really interested me today. It’s quite often interesting that those in relationships and those who are ‘in love’ say that they are stronger than ever because of their partner in life. Is this really the case? I know A LOT of single people, and to be quite honest, they are some of the strongest people I know. I couldn’t agree more with this quote. I see so many couples possess each other and become so dependant on each other that it becomes somewhat of an addiction. I also see people in serious relationships develop the inability to figure out what is important for themselves to accomplish, and work towards achieving higher and higher goals.

The biggest reason being single appeals to me so much is that YOU get to move through all the things YOU want to do in life one by one without ever having to stop and ask another person if they are okay with doing it. I love being pushed out of MY comfort zone in an effort to meet new people, often resulting in trying new things that I never thought I would fall in love with. In a sense, being single allows me to shake things up in my life. 

Every day you live holds the potential of starting an entirely new love story, whether with a partner (or even a new TV show) and you never know when or where yours is going to start. I definitely have learnt to rely on myself, and to be my own support system when I need it (which is a lot haha). Because of all the time you are able to spend working on your other relationships such as friends and family, you realise how essential and affirming all of these connections can be, and how much you need to care for them when you’re back into a relationship again.

Like I said, this quote really got me thinking. It’s okay to be single. If anything it helps us love more. We should never neglect/compromise ourselves for any relationship ever.

kris.jpgDISCLAIMER: this is in no way, shape or form a negative letter to people who have been or are currently in loving/stable relationships. This is just my point of view based off my observations and experience.