Staying Motivated When Things Aren’t Going Your Way

Trying to stay motivated when things aren’t going quite the way you planned is quite difficult! Let me re-phrase that, it’s super fucking hard. Problems and heartaches in life are inevitable, It’s natural to get overwhelmed by our struggles and when things aren’t going our way, most of us, me included, have a tendency to complain. In my experience complaining rarely does much to improve the situation and can often make matters worse. You know what it’s like, it’s so tiresome to provide support to someone who shares their problems with you constantly. So I try not to be that person …  A way to combat this feeling is to find the strength to stay positive. I always try to laugh even when it’s hard to. I spend time with other people as much as I can and refrain myself from isolation. I like to give myself space and time to re-energize (I can’t stress how important this is for me).

A way I’ve been trying to combat all this feeling of hopelessness is looking back on my life and some of the things I’ve done and achieved so far and dwell on the good things in my life at this moment and list a good 5 things out. Sounds silly, but I read it actually makes you so much more grateful for the life you have had so far.

  1. I have a wonderful family, I believe I had the best upbringing. My parents are so loving and supportive of me and everything I’ve ever done. Im very close with all my relatives and they give me constant love and support.
  2. I had the opportunity to work for one of the largest most successful companies in the world for 6 months overseas. It resulted in many life lessons, personal growth and life long friendships
  3. I have had the opportunity to travel and see lots of amazing places
  4. I got to live in the Texas for 6 years with my family and attend school there
  5. I have wonderful friends, close or distant, I love them all

Every struggle we encounter is a step forward; it’s all part of life’s journey, giving us the opportunity to learn about ourselves. The way in which we are able to handle what life throws at us, defines our future and who we will become.

 

Dating Apps Have Ruined Dating for Me …

What are your thoughts on dating apps? read mine here ….

I was in bed thinking the other day and I started to think back to what life was like before dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, Grindr (a gay hookup app for those of you who don’t know) or even Instagram (yes it’s considered a dating app because you can quite easily slide into anyone’s dm’s).

To be honest with you, I don’t really remember dating without them. It made me realise that our generation has been brought up on these dating apps and we don’t know anything different. Thinking back to when my parents were dating, they didn’t have tinder or smartphones, they met organically. My mum didn’t have to worry about my dad sliding into other girls dm’s or getting on a dating app and swiping to find other girls he might be interested in pursuing. She was only dating him, he was only dating her, and their time spent together eventually blossomed into an beautiful marriage, family etc. much like a fairytale …

giphy (3).gif

Fast forward to 2017 — I am 21 years old, single and living with my parents. I enjoy my social life and I am 100% satisfied and stable with my current situation. The only thing I seem to be missing is a relationship. I’m not saying that dating apps don’t work, because I know couples who met through them, I’m just saying they have ruined dating for me. Being a young gay boy, I was not able to go to gay clubs and gay bars to meet guys, so the only other viable option was apps where you could connect with other gays. As time went on I realised that it was just full of seedy people who lack your basic social standards and just want to hookup.

Moving on to Tinder, I feel like it has ruined dating as well. With Tinder, we are spoilt with choice and we create imaginary checklists in our heads of the “perfect” guy or girl.

giphy (2).gif

This feeling of “what if” is created … “what if your soul mate is a few swipes away?”. The “what if” feeling has created a dating culture that all too often leads to countless empty and meaningless interactions. The majority of matches on Tinder usually never lead to a message, or even a real life date, and even if you are messaging someone regularly, they often come to an abrupt stop for no apparent reason. The anonymity of online dating has made “ghosting” an accepted phenomenon. It is perhaps understandable, but nonetheless exhausting and dehumanizing.

Imagine meeting someone in a bar and exchanging words about your passions and interests only to have that person walk off in the middle of the conversation, never to return … annoying right? This would be the real life equivalent of ‘ghosting’. We have learned to treat each other as disposable commodities rather than real people with wants, needs and dreams. It’s sad, and it makes the future of dating for me look pretty bleak if you ask me …

giphy.gif

There’s An App for Everything. Except, Like, Actual Romance.