I just wanted to write a blog post to formally apologise for the lack of content lately. Sometimes life gets in the way of these sort of things and while I love it very much, sometimes it has to go on the back burner for a short time while I get my affairs in order. But I did want to write just to let you all know what I’ve been up to!
So since my last blog post, I have officially completed all my units within my bachelor degree and I will be graduating in November! University has been a four-year journey for me and I honestly couldn’t be prouder of myself. I really put myself out there in terms of making new friends and really challenging myself. University really helped me step outside of my comfort zone and master time management and organisational skills! At the end of the day, my degree is something that I now have and nobody can take that away from me! It’s all mine!
The biggest challenge I am currently facing after acquiring said degree, is finding a job. Don’t get me wrong I have a job and I love it dearly, however I am looking to progress in my chosen industry and that can only be achieved by continuing to push for a more professional role. A role that my degree has prepared me for. While there seems to be a lot of rejection in this initial stage of applying, I’m trying to just reassure myself there’s something out there and it’s all good experience. I am applying to jobs left right and centre and trying my best, so fingers crossed for that!
I am making some very important lifestyle changes such as going to the gym more and changing the kind of food I eat. I’ve been experimenting with ‘vegetarianism’ for health reasons. I am currently very immersed in Game of Thrones (who isn’t), seriously one of the best season so far! Also being so busy with work, I’m trying to spend as much time with my family as I can. All of us work, so it’s very rare for all of us to have time together in the same room! I’m also trying to be as spontaneous as possible, indulging in shopping, weekend weekends away and trying nice restaurants!
I think what I am beginning to learn as of late is, life is precious and life is short. We need to start living every day like it’s the last and to the fullest. Tell you friends and family you love them, eat that burger, post that selfie, DO ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING because tomorrow isn’t promised/guaranteed.
The key to being happier starts by being good to yourself. Sounds pretty self-evident right? But too often we skip this very crucial step. I myself skip it many a time! I often try to make myself happy by chasing ever-higher goals or holding myself to ever-greater standards of perfection (as seen on Instagram lol).
I go about my life day to day and I noticed that there was once crucial thing missing … and it was indeed happiness. I have been so caught up in my working schedule and other petty things like housework and catching up on Netflix TV shows that I totally forgot to be happy. I was in zombie mode that’s for sure, I was sad, and just content really … I needed a push to get me back on track to happiness.
I’ve read that the happiest people go out of their way to treat themselves right and they do something nice for themselves each day. They set appropriate boundaries and take care of themselves by saying no to things when they need to. This is something I have been trying to do lately and it has really turned things around for me. I indulge in a nice bath and glass of wine once a week now as nice way to unwind after a stressful shift at work. On my days off, I try to something fun and spontaneous as a way to forget about whatever may be stressing me out at the current moment in time. I buy myself nice things as a reward for my hard work. I continue to design and study marketing to help get me closer to my dream of having a clothing line. Keeping this commitment will motivate me to take better care of myself and go after my dreams. It’s worth a shot anyway right?
I challenge everyone this coming month to do something for yourself each day big or small to remind you on a daily basis to treat yourself with the loving kindness you deserve! Don’t get too caught up in the day to day routine! Take time to stop and breathe, prioritise your health and listen to yourself. Be spontaneous! Go to the beach. Go have a nice coffee. Have some retail therapy. Get creative!
Personal branding requires me to find a signature image, a unique voice, and a recognisable standard that my readers can grow to recognise. How am I going to do that? Simple. By being MYSELF.
Imagine how hard it would be to build a brand around your “fake” self. Which I believe is what most people do. I would have to act a certain way, appear a certain way, and say certain things, regardless of how I actually feel about it.
Samuel Rose and “samuelrose.blog” is a reflection of who I am. I know what I believe in. I know what I stand for! I know my strengths and my weaknesses. People connect with other people. If I don’t appear to be a real person, or if it just looks like i’m faking it, how likely is it that others will trust me and what I have to say? Even if they do buy into my ‘fake’ persona for one hot minute, the slightest bit of inconsistency could prove catastrophic for my brand.
As I begin to develop my personal brand, I can only hope the right opportunities will start coming my way. While people may ‘doubt’ me or find my online/social media presence ‘annoying’, people will begin to see that I know what i’m taking about, and they’ll invite me to be a part of their stories or news pieces. However, I must not forget how important it is for me to accomplish something for MYSELF. I’m not doing it just for the following, but for myself. I will continue to talk about fashion and the role it plays in my life. I will continue to talk about my passion for travel. I will continue to be open about my shortcomings and weaknesses, making me all the more human.
Building a personal brand is first and foremost developing an understanding of your true self, and then sharing that with the world. For me that is an endless journey.
“The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it’s not. It is an existential truth: only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of another person–without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other. They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other.” – Osho
This quote really interested me today. It’s quite often interesting that those in relationships and those who are ‘in love’ say that they are stronger than ever because of their partner in life. Is this really the case? I know A LOT of single people, and to be quite honest, they are some of the strongest people I know. I couldn’t agree more with this quote. I see so many couples possess each other and become so dependant on each other that it becomes somewhat of an addiction. I also see people in serious relationships develop the inability to figure out what is important for themselves to accomplish, and work towards achieving higher and higher goals.
The biggest reason being single appeals to me so much is that YOU get to move through all the things YOU want to do in life one by one without ever having to stop and ask another person if they are okay with doing it. I love being pushed out of MY comfort zone in an effort to meet new people, often resulting in trying new things that I never thought I would fall in love with. In a sense, being single allows me to shake things up in my life.
Every day you live holds the potential of starting an entirely new love story, whether with a partner (or even a new TV show) and you never know when or where yours is going to start. I definitely have learnt to rely on myself, and to be my own support system when I need it (which is a lot haha). Because of all the time you are able to spend working on your other relationships such as friends and family, you realise how essential and affirming all of these connections can be, and how much you need to care for them when you’re back into a relationship again.
Like I said, this quote really got me thinking. It’s okay to be single. If anything it helps us love more. We should never neglect/compromise ourselves for any relationship ever.
DISCLAIMER: this is in no way, shape or form a negative letter to people who have been or are currently in loving/stable relationships. This is just my point of view based off my observations and experience.
Magdalena (32) is a Polish model who has appeared on countless international runways since 2006. She has walked for a bevy of top designers including Elie Saab, Miu Miu, Chanel, John Galliano, Christian Dior, Balmain, Lanvin, Roberto Cavalli, Dolce & Gabbana, Emilio Pucci, Fendi, Prada, Givenchy, Versace, Ralph Lauren, Oscar De La Renta, Alexander Wang, Louis Vuitton, Giorgio Armani, Jean Paul Gaultier, Hermes, Chloe, Karl Lagerfeld and Max Mara.
In addition to conquering the high fashion scene, Magdalena was cast in the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show in 2010 which led to numerous appearances in the lingerie brand’s annual runway extravaganza!
After fronting campaigns for numerous brands including Prada, Louis Vuitton, Lanvin, Givenchy and Victoria’s Secret, Frackowiak decided to develop an aesthetic entirely her own with a focus on hand-made luxury. She started a jewellery line. The effortless model-off-duty-look collection is made from solid 18-karat gold and includes hammered bracelets, pendants, simple chokers and hoop earrings. Frackowiak says she was inspired by architecture. “It has a lot of geometry inside. It’s all about spikes, circles and it connects to the things that I love the most in architecture”.
(Little disclaimer to all the gays out there, this doesn’t apply to everyone! This is just what I personally have experienced! )
Let me explain,
Mine and every other gay man’s pool of potential partners is A LOT smaller than those of straight people! A lot of straight people are single too, there’s just A LOT more options for straight people to get with other straight people. So talking numbers, the chances of meeting ‘Mr. Right’ are pretty slim.
What I’ve noticed is a lot of gay men are attracted to attractiveness rather than personality and deeper values. We hate to admit it but it’s true. I also noticed it’s common that gay men are not monogamous. There are a lot of gay men who claim to want monogamy, but they can’t even behave monogamously themselves. Bottom line is, if you want monogamy, you have to be monogamous and if you really love someone, being faithful is effortless.
Too many gay men often seek guys who fit their idea of a perfect partner: perfect job, perfect look, perfect friends. STOP RIGHT THERE! You want a guy who loves you for your individual nature, and who might even clash with some aspects of your life, its natural.
Most gay men are alone because they have narrow standards and try to chase after ideas of a perfect man modelled in today’s popular culture. Let’s be honest, the majority of gay men depicted in television shows or on TV in general are pretty good looking and it’s become the standard that every gay man seeks. Personality is then completely overlooked.
Personally, the experience of growing up gay in a straight world is hard. I often experienced rejection in many ways by the time I became an adult. Whether it was being excluded at school or being rejected by someone I had a crush on. I have developed defences against my fear of rejection, and those are what keeping me from opening up to other’s.
let’s face it, there hasn’t been a time in your life where you haven’t wished to “not grow up”! When you think about it, growing up means getting a car, getting an adult job (whatever that is), moving out and having real life responsibilities. Even the word adulthood is pretty scary to me, so I call it ‘adulting’ to seem less daunting. I feel like I am experiencing this fear of adulthood now more than ever as I am close to graduating university. You could say that i’m in the ‘in-between stage’ of finishing school and facing the real world.
To me the most terrifying thing of all is not knowing what’s ahead. Throughout childhood and young adult life, you have your life mapped out, but once university is over and you step into the real world where you have to work and make a living for yourself, you are afraid of not knowing what you will face along the way. Adults have a lot of responsibilities, that’s what makes adulthood so much fun (not really!). Going into adulthood, you have responsibilities like paying bills, buying a car, house etc. I have found that it is super hard to book appointments for myself! Growing up my parents did all that for me, so you can imagine the shock I got when one day my parents said I was on my own now when it came to the dentist, hairdresser, doctor, taxes etc. It was a huge wake up call that adulthood was commencing! I think having all these responsibilities has made me even more scared to grow up because it can be so stressful!
I personally have gotten so used to having my parents, friends and family around me so much that when it is time for me to move on and start my own individual life, I think I will struggle immensely! Separation anxiety will become a real thing and although it scares me, it’s part of life. Change is scary! And let’s face it, sometimes we don’t like to admit it!
While the thought of growing up is scary, we cannot lose sight of ourselves and neglect our youth years. They have shaped us into the young adults we are today!