Is Instagram Ruining Our Lives?

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Haven’t posted for a while, and I was scraping my brain trying to figure out something I can write about. I don’t know if it is because I am busy, life is changing, or if I’m simply feeling uninspired. After thinking and debating, there is something I want to address: Instagram … it’s VERY deceiving. For some reason I just can’t seem to get that through my head. Don’t get me wrong I LOVE Instagram, but it’s nothing but A LOT of smoke and mirrors and nothing is what it seems.

As young adults we are all on a continuous journey to find and love ourselves. Which is never going to happen if we keep trying to be a filtered standard of ourselves that isn’t even real! Sounds like some super messed up and unachievable shit. What does that say about what we think of ourselves and our goals in the first place? How can we achieve them when we don’t feel good enough to be ourselves, let alone to even want to be ourselves.

Here’s the harsh truth are you ready to hear it?

1.) Let’s be honest most of us are looking for validation.

2.) #BodyGoals – We see that hashtag almost every day on our Instagram timeline. Most likely, there will be a skinny pretty girl or boy in the picture with a flat stomach/abs. We’ve all seen it, and we’ve all wanted to be them at some point in our lives (Do not deny it, you know it’s true). So, are they really our body goals or is it just a silly fantasy that is bringing down our self-confidence? I don’t know about you, but social media has quickly destroyed my self-confidence.

3.) There’s this pressure to be “camera ready” at any given time of day.

4.) Instagram is the first thing I look at in the morning and the last thing I look at when I go to bed – this is borderline an addiction.

What have I learnt from Instagram? Most girls want to be skinny, and guys want to look ripped, and if you don’t look like that, then you’re considered unattractive … harsh reality right? But let me break it down for you once more!

1.) NO ONE wakes up with perfect hair and skin. NO ONE eats on a terrace with a beautiful mountain view every morning. NO ONE has a perfect relationship full of gifts, hand holding, and adventures.

2.) Everyone wakes up with a zit the size of a mountain on their forehead every once in a while (guilty). Everyone spends a day in bed eating junk food and binge watching Netflix (guilty). Everyone argues with their significant other (not guilty #singleAF). Everyone has bad days, they just don’t post it on social media!!!

Quite frankly, Instagram is transforming us literally into our own worst critics. Believe it or not if you want. Rant over!

 

Why I (And Most Gay Men) Are Single!

(Little disclaimer to all the gays out there, this doesn’t apply to everyone! This is just what I personally have experienced! )

Let me explain,

Mine and every other gay man’s pool of potential partners is A LOT smaller than those of straight people! A lot of straight people are single too, there’s just A LOT more options for straight people to get with other straight people. So talking numbers, the chances of meeting ‘Mr. Right’ are pretty slim.

What I’ve noticed is a lot of gay men are attracted to attractiveness rather than personality and deeper values. We hate to admit it but it’s true. I also noticed it’s common that gay men are not monogamous. There are a lot of gay men who claim to want monogamy, but they can’t even behave monogamously themselves. Bottom line is, if you want monogamy, you have to be monogamous and if you really love someone, being faithful is effortless.

Too many gay men often seek guys who fit their idea of a perfect partner: perfect job, perfect look, perfect friends. STOP RIGHT THERE! You want a guy who loves you for your individual nature, and who might even clash with some aspects of your life, its natural.

Most gay men are alone because they have narrow standards and try to chase after ideas of a perfect man modelled in today’s popular culture. Let’s be honest, the majority of gay men depicted in television shows or on TV in general are pretty good looking and it’s become the standard that every gay man seeks. Personality is then completely overlooked. 

Personally, the experience of growing up gay in a straight world is hard. I often experienced rejection in many ways by the time I became an adult. Whether it was being excluded at school or being rejected by someone I had a crush on. I  have developed defences against my fear of rejection, and those are what keeping me from opening up to other’s.

Let’s be frank. Gay men are and will continue to be extremely superficial and fussy. Which is why I am single!
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