“The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it’s not. It is an existential truth: only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of another person–without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other. They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other.” – Osho
This quote really interested me today. It’s quite often interesting that those in relationships and those who are ‘in love’ say that they are stronger than ever because of their partner in life. Is this really the case? I know A LOT of single people, and to be quite honest, they are some of the strongest people I know. I couldn’t agree more with this quote. I see so many couples possess each other and become so dependant on each other that it becomes somewhat of an addiction. I also see people in serious relationships develop the inability to figure out what is important for themselves to accomplish, and work towards achieving higher and higher goals.
The biggest reason being single appeals to me so much is that YOU get to move through all the things YOU want to do in life one by one without ever having to stop and ask another person if they are okay with doing it. I love being pushed out of MY comfort zone in an effort to meet new people, often resulting in trying new things that I never thought I would fall in love with. In a sense, being single allows me to shake things up in my life.
Every day you live holds the potential of starting an entirely new love story, whether with a partner (or even a new TV show) and you never know when or where yours is going to start. I definitely have learnt to rely on myself, and to be my own support system when I need it (which is a lot haha). Because of all the time you are able to spend working on your other relationships such as friends and family, you realise how essential and affirming all of these connections can be, and how much you need to care for them when you’re back into a relationship again.
Like I said, this quote really got me thinking. It’s okay to be single. If anything it helps us love more. We should never neglect/compromise ourselves for any relationship ever.
DISCLAIMER: this is in no way, shape or form a negative letter to people who have been or are currently in loving/stable relationships. This is just my point of view based off my observations and experience.